A Year Without Social Media

All 4 kids were in bed. I grabbed my phone and collapsed on the couch. I just needed a moment TO ESCAPE into mind-numbing social media scrolling. It had been a day. Within that moment, however, my daughter climbed out of bed. She came walking back through the living room to get a drink of water (because how many moms can give an Amen to the fact that there is no thirstier kid than one who's just been told it's bedtime).

Nothing up to this point was out of the ordinary, but what I found somewhat alarming was what I did the moment I saw my daughter—I threw my phone down to pretend I wasn't on it. Yes, much in the same way a child who's just been caught sneaking candy shoves the forbidden treat under a pillow.

Wait. I wasn't doing anything wrong, was I? So why did I just throw my phone?

I got my daughter's dehydration issue taken care of. Still, after everyone was back in bed and the house was quiet, my phone throwing incident replayed in my head. As I began to lean into my seemingly random reaction, I realized it wasn't random at all. Lately, I'd been feeling guilty about the amount of time I spend on my phone. More so, even, for the tone I was setting in my household. It had happened several times in the past few weeks: my kids needed my attention but had found me with my eyeballs glued to my phone. When I threw my phone on the couch that night, it was because my subconscious was aware of a secret that my consciousness was only beginning to catch onto. I was living incongruently with who I wanted to be.

Let me be clear that I find nothing wrong with social media. I do not find it innately evil. It can be used for God's glory, and it can be used as a tool by the enemy. The determining factor of how it is used, of course, is the user.

I will throw in my professional knowledge as a therapist here and state that social media is designed to be addictive. It creates a feedback loop in our brains, just like any other dopamine-producing substance that creates a desire to come back more and come back often. It takes someone aware of this tendency to use it responsibly and execute self-control; to recognize when they're being driven by their dopamine receptors.

As 2019 began to dwindle and I realized I hadn't been using social media responsibly despite my knowledge of the above, I set my sights on the new year. The new decade. I began to ask myself those really hard questions.

I asked what things in my life were making me who I wanted to be and what things were taking me further from that woman.

More importantly, I asked what things God wanted to change in me and about me. (That's THE question to ask, by the way.)

I asked Him these deep questions each morning and listened intently for His answers. One thing He led me clearly in was this: spend the next year away from social media. My phone throwing incident indicated that my feelings of guilt were a red flag. I became excited to walk away for a whole year and see what the Lord had in store for me in 2020.

As it turned out, 2020 had some surprises up its sleeve for us all, didn’t it? I was grateful, increasingly so, that I was not on social media to see things blow up in 2020. Even amidst the chaos, fear, anxiety and constant development of new norms being forced over the last couple of years, I have found that my year without social media taught me some very valuable lessons.

Is there an upcoming season in your life in which your soul might need a social media break? It's refreshing to give our souls something they need (which is often very different from what they want, mind you).

Below are the top five reasons I found myself going a year without social media:

1. It's hard.

Yes, giving up social media was hard. I connected with friends both near and far via these avenues and I missed seeing their pictures. I missed sharing mine. Why was and is doing something that's hard good for my soul? Because like any other muscle, our brains and hearts grow when they are challenged. The harder something is for us in our own strength, the more we need to lean on God's. That's exactly where we need to be—functioning in His strength and not our own. Do hard things!

2. Self-promotion is yucky.

I spent a lot of time thinking about what pictures I would post and what captions I would give them. I didn't readily recognize this as self-promotion until God pointed it out. I was fixing my eyes on myself and the image of self I wanted to portray. Hebrews 12:2 tells us to fix our eyes on Jesus, not on ourselves. God's word also says in Matthew 23:12 that "those who exalt themselves will be humbled and those who humble themselves will be exalted."

3. Comparison steals joy.

I know we've all heard it a million times, but it's true. We see the highlight reels of others' lives and then suddenly, our own lives suck. We all need a break from things that are causing us to compare our lives to others from time to time.

4. Mental real estate is pricey.

My brain and soul were overwhelmed with constant feeds of information—news streaming in at record speeds, messages, comments, pictures, and quotes. Our brains, which our finite, were not meant to process an infinite amount of information all at once! I needed to clear some space in my head for God and what He wanted me to hear as opposed to what the world was continually streaming into my brain.

5. Kids are watching.

Back to my phone throwing incident. We all know that actions speak louder than words. We can tell our kids to take a break from screen time and go outside to play in the dirt, but if they walk back in to find us sitting on the couch with our screens in front of our face, guess what they interpret as important? I needed to step away for a whole year to teach my kids through my example that they are more important than my phone and that there is more to life than a constant streaming feed.

As you read through the above, I wonder if there's something your soul needs a break from, too? Perhaps it's social media, or perhaps it's something completely different. Whatever it is, as you ask yourself the hard questions, let God be your guide.

My prayer in this new year for myself, and for the church as a whole, is that we will all seek God FIRST, whatever that may look like in our personal lives. It's when we seek Him first that we'll find not what we want, but what our souls truly need.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you

— Matthew 6:33